BALD MEN

(lyrics by Christine Lavin)


I don't like men who exaggerate

about the places they've been

about the money they've made

I like a man who's honest and true

You can look him in the eye

When he's talking to you

I like men who accept who they are

Not everyone can look like a movie star

If you can follow this thought

to it's logical end

You can see why I like bald-headed men

. . . ooh, I like bald-headed men

Everyone knows that it's testosterone

that turns bushy-haired men into a chrome dome

But testosterone is what makes a man a man

The more that he's got the more that he can

Do the things that make the women go "Oy!"

I'll take the bald-headed man over a big-haired boy

Big-haired boys make very good friends

But they cannot compare to bald-headed men

I've said it before

I'll say it again

I like bald-headed men

So why did you waste your money

joining that hair club for guys?

Oh, why would you cover your manly badge of honor

with such a bad disguise?

Oh, why would you throw away money on Rogaine and Minoxidil?

When all they can guarantee are years and years of pharmacy bills

. . . please don't do it!

I believe the hair replacement industry for men

is like the cosmetic industry for women

A giant black hole that will suck your money away

for the rest of your life

. . . please don't do it!

No matter how you fight it, time marches on

Some new things appear, some old things are gone

Let it move - - it's a natural thing

Like a leaf on a tree or a bird on a wing

Try looking in your mirror from a whole different place

You're not losing hair, you're gaining face

Be confident! Be cool! It won't be long when

You are bound to be one of the bald-headed men

Said it before

I'll say it again

I love bald-headed men



The Bald Man's Home Page

Bald Is Beautiful Home Page


Still more lyrics from the realm of the Dangerous Housewife . . .

Good Thing He Can't Read My Mind

My Mother's Hands

TV Talk

What Was I Thinking?

Estate Sale

Don't Forget the Guns

Mysterious Woman