I heard about this man, wanted a wife and some children

The problem with this man is he used to be a woman

Now he wants a family, someone to understand

There she is sitting with him, wants a husband and some children

The situation here is she's not a real woman

There they are together the man who was a woman

The woman who was a man

How do I know? I've seen it on the . . .

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Then there was this woman, who had a quirky daughter

Forty times a day the kid sticks her hands in water

Doctors say the young girl is trying just to cleanse her soul

She's a prisoner in the bathroom,

Stuck inside the bathroom,

Compulsive in the bathroom,

They film her from the bathroom

Mom would like to use the bathroom now and then you know!

Where does she go? On the . . .

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

One day Oprah's heavy,

Next day Oprah's skinny,

Next day Oprah's heavy,

Next day Oprah's skinny,

Jenny Jones had big boobs,

Now Jenny's big boobs are gone

Where'd they go? (I don't know)

One day Oprah's heavy,

Next day Oprah's skinny,

Next day Oprah's heavy,

Next day Oprah's skinny,

I'm checking in with Donahue,

He's got a nice dress on.

What's going on? On the . . .

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

They've got mothers who are dating daughters' boyfriends

Mothers who are dating daughters' girlfriends

Mothers who are dating guys who like to dress like priests

There are ninety-year-old bikers

With the rings in their noses

Then there's the bulimic eating up the roses

The anorexic brought along her feeding hoses

Oh, the things they show.

On the . . .

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

I'm just a simple woman with simple complications

I can be lazy, lacking motivation

Today I am a voyeur,

I cannot let go

I view the TV for holistic meditation

Compared to some, my life, it is perfection

Does anybody understand our attraction to people who suffer so?

Hope I never know or you'll see me on the . . .

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Talk, Talk, TV Talk, Talk Show

Still more lyrics from the realm of the Dangerous Housewife . . .

Good Thing He Can't Read My Mind

Bald Men

What Was I Thinking

My Mother's Hands

Estate Sale

Don't Forget the Guns

Mysterious Woman